Parting with the Paci: Didn't Expect It To Be Hard...For Me

We've talked about and made our decision. Tomorrow night will be his last night with his paci. I do not think everyone should take it away at 13 months. Or at 3 months. Or at 2 years. I mean I honestly don't believe there are any rules for pacifiers. Ours has been a good friend (to all of us)! We hate to see it go. Honestly, is there anything cuter than looking at little toddler faces with paci's? Maybe that's just me, but I love it.

Yeah, there is the possibility that he could take up sucking his thumb. I guess if he did that we'd have to think of a plan to help him overcome the habit. (Or give his paci back...I mean worse things could happen ;) .

We planned to wean him from "bye-bye" (paci) somewhere between 18-24 months, but then we began thinking about the possible reality of that season:

• He'll be eighteen months during the Christmas season (probably NOT a good time for significant life change if we can help it)
• We're in the process of adopting. While EVERYTHING is tentative about the adoption timeline, there is a slight chance that we'll be welcoming home our child next spring or summer (again, probably NOT a good time to take away paci).

But now, at 13 months, we seem to be in a very calm, uneventful season. I'm at home with just him. We have a routine that we follow pretty consistently (aside from an occasional restaurant adventure), and losing the paci would be the only change in his life. So as we see it, now is our window of opportunity to break the habit without totally turning his world upside down.

Before motherhood, I figured I'd never give my child a paci to avoid this difficult departure. But you know, when I figured out one week into parenting that paci=sleep, I bought a bag full and thanked Jesus (I say that with no sarcasm). And I've been smitten with Jman's little paci-face ever since.

It hurts to take it away from him even though it's what we're supposed to do. Who knows? He may just be ready and hardly care (though I doubt it because he asks for it at bedtime...when we normally give it to him). Or it may be hard. And that possibility hurts my heart. Whether its the paci or something else (and there will be many "something else's"), growing up is hard sometimes, and that brings this mommy to my knees because Jesus can handle what's hard to us.

We're going to talk to him about it tonight and tomorrow night (though he probably won't understand...at all). Nathan bought him a present today and is going to give it to him Friday. He probably still won't understand (at all) but even his lack of understanding is a bittersweet part of growing up. The Father loves His children. He works in ways we don't understand, but He is good. He (in the most perfect/holy way) works for the good of His children and lavishes them with all good things. Good guidance. Good sifting. Good discipline. Goodbyes, sometimes. And most of the time, I don't understand...at all. That's where trust comes in. I pray our precious son will trust Him with all his heart some day.