Still Dreamin'

Naturally, courageous people inspire me. That's why ever since, oh, about second grade I found something so gut-wrenchingly powerful about Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech and the variety of people who stood side-by-side that day to hear.

Tonight I reflect on some of the statements he made that day, statements which follow the precepts of God's Word, the Bible, and are therefore good:

"But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force." -MLK

Soul force.

Matthew 22: 34-40

"Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

 Love God. Love your neighbor. That is God's will. MLK stood on August 28, 1963 for a cause that was--right. And he reminds me of my responsibility to do and live with confidence and to confidently act according to God's will.

"I have a dream." I'm no longer talking about MLK (although the reminder of his courage is one of the reason's I'm soul searching this evening). I'm talking about the dreams God has given me--namely to overcome my cowardliness. How quickly I cower in the moment of opportunity, decision, or just plain criticism! But I'm sick of my sin of passivity. I'm sick of NOT loving my neighbor through passivity. I'm sick of being afraid to do something that makes me look "too different." I'm sick of being afraid of criticism. But what do I do about my sin? I've been discussed by my passivity for years. I've tried a more abrupt approach of being courageous that resulted in me being "a clanging cymbal." God says to love (love the way He defines it--not relativistically). God says to love. Love wants to obey God; love speaks the truth humbly; love is concerned for the well-being of the person confronted; love is not intimidated with being confronted; love can only come through Christ.

So I echo MLK's dream for all children when he said, "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character." And I'm dreamin' today too--a dream just as lofty but a bit more personally introspective:

I have a dream:

• That I will love people when they hurt me.
• That I will spit out bitterness of the heart and refuse to ingest self-pity.
• That I will repent and apologize when I hurt others.
• That I will speak against injustice...even when those to whom I speak are deafened by their own prejudices and fear.
• That I will look my own prejudices and ungodly fears square in the face and repent of them with mourning. (James 4)
• That I will take no part in gossip OF ANY FORM as it tears down those made in God's precious image and for whom Christ died. And because gossip and slander is not why God gave me a brain and a mouth.
• That I will not be a complainer. Yes, I have a dream that I will obey God's word and "do everything without grumbling or arguing." Philippians 2:14
• That I will not succumb to fear of obeying Christ because of people's unsolicited contradictory advice.

I have these dreams because at the end of the day...if I lie on my death bed or should I be granted the knowledge that I'm about to die...to leave this world...and meet God face to face, I will care only about whether I loved God and loved my neighbor. Not because my salvation hinges upon my acts of righteousness (for my acts are as filthy rags before Him) but because the love of Christ and for Christ is in me. I am joyful. I am content knowing that my life is pleasing to Him.

If I won't be faithful in the little things, I won't be faithful in the big things. I had a dream (a literal...sleeping dream) one night a few weeks ago. My children were grown. We were dropping them off at college. I was contemplating about all the good God did in my life during college and was hoping the same for him. Suddenly a horn resounded. Everyone was commanded to bow down and worship something other than Christ. Everyone around me bowed. Some of the people I knew. One familiar face cried to me "What are you doing. Get down. You have your children to protect." Just before I awoke.......I started to bend my knees."

I lay awake in bed for a while, then finally went into the living room and sat in our recliner. I was nauseous over the very idea that I would even reflexively bow the knee for anyone or thing other than Christ. I know it was a dream and you can't always control your actions in a dream, but the sight of my knees bending haunted and haunts me. May I never forget the moment. And in my life may the reality of minor and major persecution for righteousness and for Christ be faced with obedience. Holy Spirit please empower me to be obedient. That is my dream. That is my goal in life. For that matter that is my only dream and aspiration for my children...that they will love God and love their neighbor.

Thank You

If the path to a grateful heart is stopping to say thank you, then I have more than a few to list.

1. Thank You Lord for this weather.

Everybody has their ideal for winter weather. Mine...is exactly what we've experienced for the past week: rainy and warm.

Ever since Nathan and I ventured to living in his element (waaaayyyy out in the country...which I might add is becoming my element as well), I have learned to appreciate rain. We have a well. We rely on it to sustain us. We have to have rain to keep the well wet. (It's a drilled well about 300 ft. deep...so we're not in danger of running out...but it does make me think, stop, and thank God for rain.) We all in fact are desperate for water to survive. Our well just brings the need to my attention...and for that I am grateful.

In the Bible, rain is a sign of God's mercy. In the Hebrew world, a rainy day was a beautiful day. Rain brings forth life. Drought in the Old Testament was part of God's discipline. Severe drought meant AND MEANS dehydration and starvation--death. In Jeremiah 14, Judah cried out to the LORD for His mercy (for Him to send rain)...God was disciplining them for their idolatry and decietful living.

So, I'm loving the sound of the rain hitting our metal chimney, falling on our pasture, and filling the creeks. Please let the rain continue Lord.

AND...I enjoying this warm weather--for one reason--our power bill will be cheaper. We are still saving for our China adoption. We budget a certain amount for electricity each month, but if the bill is less, then the difference goes into savings. Thank You Lord that the heater has not kicked on for days!

2. Thank You Lord for the Women's group I will join this semester.

Last week I posted that I badly want to find a group of women who love God's Word and want to study it together. I joined a group women that begin next week for a class called Restoring Your Heart. The class is actually for men and women. Nathan is taking the class as well but at a different time and with a group of men. It's not a Bible study exactly. It's a study of our emotions and the Biblical response to those emotions. I think a sweet friend of mine and I will be able to ride together which would add to the joy of involving myself in a women's group.

I also learned about a women's Bible study offered not too terribly far from home called Bible Study Fellowship. Two ladies at our church mentioned it to me Sunday. I've known lots of women who joined these groups through the years and have always wanted to be a part but could never work it out in my schedule. I'm praying about joining the group next Fall. The ladies sharing with me told how BSF cares for children as well. BSF meets in the morning. They don't just provide childcare. The children learn the same Bible lesson as mom. They study systematically through books of the Bible. I'm kind of doubting that I'll be leaving my two month old in childcare...I would plan to carry Baby in with me until he/she is a little older. It sounds as though the women would welcome that.

SO...I'm grateful for learning about opportunities to grow with others.

3. Thanks Thompsons and McCarthas for our cameras!!!

I haven't pulled out my cameras much since we've returned from visiting family over the holidays. For some reason I have a heirarchy of how I want to spend my time over the next 5 1/2 months. Work then play. I feel an unexplainable need to organize my house in depth. I want the house clean, organized, and ready for Baby. For some insane reason, I invision myself getting this done pretty quickly. (It's actually insane to think I can get it done at all.) Then, while sitting in my clean, organized house I'll play with the fun stuff like our cameras...or painting again (thanks to Santa on my side of the fam who sent me new paint supplies...anothe fundraising idea for adoption). I know the idea is crazy, but that's why I haven't really used the cameras yet. BUT...I'm very thankful for them. ;)

4. Thank You Lord for a healthy heartbeat!

We went again for another check up. Baby's heartbeat sounds healthy! Thank You Lord! Here I probably also should add a thank you to the doctor for seeing me at the 1:30 instead of my scheduled appointment time of 11:30. I also should add a "Thank You to the Lord" for getting me to the doctor's today inspite of my brain malfunctioning. But back Baby...I cherish the moment today when I got to hear the pounding of his little heart. I cherish the doctors words "Oh...sounds strong." Yes Lord, give Baby a strong heart...and one day a new spiritual heart. Give Baby a heart for You during early childhood...a heart that acts justly, loves mercy, and walks humbly before You. (Mic.6:8)

5. Thank You Lord for Names and Surprises!

In 28 days ,February 7, we find out the gender. I AM SO ANXIOUS TO KNOW. We've chosen names for boy or girl. I should say that we like the given meaning of each name. Personally the names also imply a God-given strength.

Boy:  Joshua Randal  (Joshua "The LORD is my salvation")...the account of Joshua in the Bible is one most often retold for courage. God commanded Him to be strong and couragious...do not be discouraged or dismayed for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua also proclaimed "As for me and my house we will serve the LORD."  (emphasis added).  Randal is Nathan's middle name and his daddy's first name. Both of these men are have good, strong, steady character. I'd be proud for our son to carry the name.

Girl: Madelyn Gray  (Madelyn "from Magdala")...Madeline was my great-grandmother's name (although it was spelled Madeline...we're changing spelling for pronunciation symplicity). She lived through the Great Depression. When she was a little girl she stayed home to work and couldn't go to school. She crawled under the house and cried because she so badly wanted to learn. She was a strong, self-taught woman who loved the Lord. I have copies of some of her beautiful poetry. One is titled in "Retrospect and hope" where she prayed that she had raised her children in the Lord. She prayed for her future decendents. I'm one of those for whom she prayed...and so is Baby. "Gray" is my sister's, mother's, grandmother's, great-grandmother's name (it was originally a last name). All of these women possess a solid relationship with Jesus Christ...and once again a God-given strength and determination to persevere. We'd be honored to name our daughter after these women.

6. Lastly for tonight, thank You Lord for my salvation.

I'm reminded everyday of my sinfulness. My attempts to do good are feeble at best. I'm so grateful for the comfort I find each night when I lie down to know that I have that blessed assurance that I'm a child of God. Thank You, Lord.

Racing through 2012!?!?

Finally, our Christmas decorations are put away until next Season. I have list upon list of things to do in the coming months. All of my aspirations of posting videos from Christmas 2011 as well as pictures have...disappeared. Sorry. I just can't keep up with my own outlandish goals. Maybe I'll post these videos later. There's nothing like the Thompson family singing "The Twelve Days of Christmas" in February or March right? For all of the Thompsons reading this...you're probably glad that I never got around to that idea ;)

I've made some January 6th resolutions...running a little late.

• To pray for discernment over my words. I'm sensing God working in this area of my life and know that He cares how I use words. Listening to and participating in gossip and/or complaining about others is a habit that God does not appreciate. He gives us pretty clear teaching on how to handle conflict. Lord, please help me! 
• "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. if he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses'..." Matthew 18:15-16...the instructions continue but I won't quote it here.
• "With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be." -James 3:9-10
• To pray for a group of women to study God's Word together. (A group to join or start...to follow God's leading)
• To re-organize some part of our house at least once a week to get ready for Baby T.
• To do some form of excercise at least several times a week.  
• To continue to save for adoption.
• We hope to have a Scottsboro yard sale in the Spring thanks to Nathan's grandmother and mom and to all who have and are still donating items...a.k.a. my mom and aunts ;) I have much to sort, price, and deliver to Scottsboro. Please pray for the yard sale...for God to be glorified...and for His will to be done.
• Praise the Lord...we are 1/5 of the way in adoption funding!
• To learn how to use the electronic devices given to us by our parents...new pictures from a new camera should be coming soon.

I have a doctor's appointment next Tuesday. I'm in my 15th week. We'll find out Baby's gender in February...hopefully early February!