Denise and Randy left this morning having cleaned our ENTIRE house. My parents did the same for us last weekend. Nathan's parents mowed our lawn and did laundry. My mom filled our beds with soaker hoses making watering so simple...and did laundry. Our Sunday school class has our refrigerator and freezer filled from top to bottom. I'm learning how to nurse and burp Joshua. He's in his bed taking a nap by himself. My cup runneth over. I have my ipod in his nursery (thanks mom) filled with music given us at showers. I'm so grateful for a nursery...thank you parents and grandparents. I love sitting in that room.
For me, learning how to care for an infant is about like learning to swim. Have you ever seen a preschooler "doggy paddle" through the shallow end, gasping for air in between splashes...picture that when you think of me carrying Joshua to the recliner in the middle of the night to nurse. But we're keeping our heads above water around here. I fell in love with Joshua the day I found out I was pregnant. I'll never forget Nathan placing him on my belly the moment he was born a little over two weeks ago. His little eyes were open and I was talking to him in that split second before his first breath...all I could say with tears was "Oh my...oh my...hey there." I fell in love. I never knew my heart could feel so full. But when it comes to learning how to care for him...it's not come naturally. I desperately needed our moms to teach me how to hold, feed, burp, rock to sleep...which is hilarious when compared to my confident "I want to figure this out on my own attitude" the week before I delivered. A baby changes everything, right? Humbling in a very good way ;)
About a week ago I was checking on him in his little bassinet about three times between feedings (which honestly is why I lacked so much sleep...it wasn't his fault at all). But when I look at his little hands and feet and ears and eyes...I'm struck with the reality that I had little to do with his creation. My body just did what God told it to do. How did this intricately woven body develop in less than a year? He made Joshua and gave him to us to have and hold and feed. And just like He made Joshua, He'll care for Joshua through me. I need not fear (even though I still do...you can pray for me ;)
I was going to talk about his birthday in this post. I don't have time...but I will say that it was such a wonderful experience. I had the whole experience planned in detail...none of it happened the way I planned...everything was so much better. I did not planned to be induced...but I'm so glad that it happened that way. I planned to try to deliver naturally. I carried the birthing ball, tennis balls, music, Nathan came ready to help...I got an epidural...and I AM SO GLAD it happened that way ;) One of the biggest and best surprises was getting to deliver the same day as Kelli (our sister-in-law) delivered our niece, Reagan Kate! These cousins were born two hours apart. We think God has a special friendship in store for these two. :)
