Jewelry

Okay, as you look at these photos...you will notice that they are taken with my phone. I'm just going to say "Thank You God for a phone with a camera." That's all I'm going to say about cameras...except that I apologize that the pictures are so blurry.

I am hosting an "African Jewelry Party" Sunday, October 9th. The jewelry is handcrafted from Uganda. I recieved the jewelry in the mail today. Let me just say, every piece is absolutely beautiful and very reasonably priced. All of the profit is sent directly to the ladies who created the collection. Most of you know that I'm an amateur (at best) at hostessing! I sent some invitations via facebook and several through the mail both of which were sent from a very incomplete list. So I've decided to invite you personally through my blog. If you'd like to come, just let me know, and I'll email you directions to my house. You can also order jewelry without coming to the party. Just let me know if you're interested.

I really hate the my camera simply doesn't show how pretty each piece is, but at least this gives you an idea.

Single Bead Earrings are  $5.00.
Hoop Earrings are $10.00.

Bracelets are $5.00 each.

Bean Necklaces are $10.00 each.

Long mixed bead paper necklaces are $15.00 each.

Tree Seed Necklaces are $10.00 each.

Three string paper bead necklaces are $15.00 each.

Small paper bead necklaces are $15.00 each.

This Time

If there is one thing I savor these days, it is time. I'm actually sitting in our recliner listening to the rain sprinkle the metal on our chimney. I have time to listen these days. I trimmed the rose and butterfly bushes yesterday. I have time to smell and adore their beauty...and thank God for grass and shrubs. Tuesday is Nathan's day off so he's been home. We sat on our front porch today and talked...really talked. I have time to listen. What I've been most excited about is that I have time for a project I've put off since I left TES in 2008: transcribing recordings of my grandmother's storytelling.

My grandmother was a teacher. Her name is Ida Gray Wilson. We called her "Boppie." She was one of the most creative and confident women. She savored learning. Loved to learn...as in, she loved brick mailboxes so she registered for classes in brick masonry and built one for herself. She could sew or cook ANYTHING. She passionately loved the Lord and loved His Word. Sometime in the late 70s she bought a quaint little house in Montgomery and opened a private school: Gray Wilson School. Boppie taught 1st-2nd grade (which sometimes included kindergarten age students if they were ready) and Mrs. Gibson taught 3rd-4th grade.

She died of cancer in May of 2003. I recieved Christ when I was a student in her classroom in 1988-89, my Kindergarten year. I guess most of you reading this know that she was and is more than special to me. Sometimes her death makes me cry. I haven't struggled with grief today. Strangely, I've not struggled with listening to these recordings today. I'm soooooo grateful for the time I have to transcribe them. Thank You Lord for your many gracious gifts. And thank you Nathan for wanting me to be a stay at home wife for this season. Hmmm...the rain and thunder outside sounds so nice. I'm reminded of the hymn Nathan and I chose to be played as I walked the aisle our wedding day:

For the beauty of the earth,
for the beauty of the skies,
for the love which from our birth,
over and and around us lies,
Lord of all to Thee we raise,
This our hymn of grateful praise.

For the beauty of each hour
Of the day and of the night
Hill and vale and tree and flower;
Sun and moon and stars of light;
Lord of all to Thee we raise;
This our hymn of grateful praise.

For the joy of human love;
Brother, sister, parent, child;
Friends on earth and friends above;
For all gentle thoughts and mild;
Lord of all to Thee we raise;
This our hymn of grateful praise.

For Thyself best Gift Divine!
To our race so freely given;
For that great great love of Thine
Peace on earth and joy in Heaven.
Lord of all to Thee we raise,
This our hymn of grateful praise.

Amen.

And goodnight. :)

My Kind of Saturday Shopping

Randy and Denise (Nathan's parents) came to visit this weekend. The four of us left early Saturday morning to eat breakfast at Red Door Cafe (think country...rural...homeade sausage...homeade biscuits). Nathan and his dad went home and rode horses. Denise and I drove to Peachtree City to participate in my fairly new found hobby...yardsales.

When Nathan and I moved to Peachtree City, there were several pieces of furniture that we wanted for our home but we didn't want to spend money on furniture store prices. Thankfully we met Berry and Doris across the street. During our first conversation, I risked seeing their potential reaction and popped the question: "Do y'all ever see any yardsales in this area?" To my penny-pinching-delight, they smiled and replied "If you like yardsales then you should know this is the yardsale capital of the world!" I can forever thank Berry and Doris for teaching me the ins and outs of Peachtree City yardsaling. What a fun game!

• Peachtree City yardsales are EVERYWHERE on the weekends.
• Around Thursday you begin to see uniform signs pop up. Citizens have to buy the signs at City Hall. All yardsales are advertised uniformly. This keeps the town attractive, and also helps train my eyes to find these little treasure chests!
• The sales usually begin at 8:00...and that means 8:00!
• You can almost always count on finding great stuff.

We found

• an elaborate iron hose holder
• two natural looking topiaries
• a box full of Christmas red berries. (I have to share the price on this one because I ended up keeping most of them...the whole box was $3.00!)
• a little antique purse

A little later we visited the Junkin Junction...a flea market near home. We found three nice books for 25 cents a piece. But my favorite treasure of the day...

• My Cedar Arbor for an extremely little amount of money. I can't wait to transplant my climbing roses beside it.

We found some really good deals and came home very happy; I learned how to bargain from Denise; and we made a fun memory...My kind of Saturday shopping.

Truth Be Told

Right now I've pulled about five books off of my shelf that I'm looking forward to reading. I'm trying to patiently get through each one with out skipping back and forth, but I admit that I've read the first chapter of three of the books. Today my selection is Continuous Revival by Norman Grubb. The small 55 page book was given to us about five years ago.  Grubb explains how continuous revival comes through walking in the Spirit (concerning ourselves with moment-by-moment surrender to God), brokenness (which he describes as "the proud, self-justifying, self-reliant, self-seeking, self has come simply as a lost, undone sinner, whose only hope is a justifying Savior" p15). We are cleansed by the blood that Jesus shed as we repent and surrender to Him.  Now I'm in the chapter called "Conviction, Confession, and Cleansing."

Allow me to quote this excert because as Nathan and I search for "direction," I'm becoming more and more aware of how I sometimes walk around the truth. I don't always look at myself plainly...because it hurts:
Sin is a revelation. It is God who graciously shows us sin, even as it is He who shows us the precious blood. Sin is only seen to be SIN-against God-when He reveals it; otherwise sin may just be known as a wrong against a brother, or an antisocial act, or an inconvenience, or a disability, or some such thing. Indeed that is often the extent of the message of a "social gospel"---to be rid of sin as a hindrance to brotherhood, as an inconvenience to human progress, not as coming short of the glory of God. GOD shows us sin. We do not keep looking inside ourselves. This is not a life of introspection or morbid self-examination. We do not walk with sin, we walk with Jesus; but, as we walk in childlike faith and fellowship with Him step by step, moment by moment, then if the cups cease to run over, He who is light, with whom we are walking, will clearly show us what the sin is which is hindering--what its real name is in His sight, rather than the pseudonym, the excusing title, which we might find it more convenient to call it......As we walk in light, we recognize and confess our sins; the blood cleanses; the Spirit witnesses; and the cups run over again!

I've begun (once again...and again...and again) to ask God to reveal to me my false perceptions...what lies have I told myself because I can't bear to look at my sin? How have I run from He who is Light (and so much more)? I'm working through my theology in so many aspects and know full well that I will NEVER understand God. Instead of reading straight through the Bible, right now I'm reading Genesis through 2 Kings and inserting the books of Chronicles, poetry, wisdom, and Prophets as they fit within in the Narrative. Very rich! What God saysHe will do, He does. He said He would split the Kingdom because of Solomon's idolatry, and He did. He said He would give the Northern Kingdom to Jeroboam, and He did. But Jeroboam's statement in 1 Kings 12 strikes me very very personally:

He begins to worry about losing "his control" (ha ha...God placed him in leadership in the previous two chapters)
Then Jeroboam built Shechem  in the hill country of Ephraim, and lived there. And he went out from there and built Penuel. Jeroboam said in his heart, "Now the kingdom will return to the house of David. If this people go up to offer sacrifices in the house of the LORD at Jerusalem, then the heart of this people will return to their lord, even to Rehoboam king of Judah; and they will kill me and return to Rehoboam king of Judah." So the king consulted, and made two golden calves, and he said to them, "It is too much for you to go up to Jerusalem; behold your gods, O Israel, that brought you up from the land of Egypt.

What does Grubb's book and Jeroboam's folly have in common with me? Just this:

Grubb is teaching from Scripture that our discipleship in Christ is a moment by moment journey of trust and surrender to His leading. WE DO NOT KNOW THE FUTURE. I don't believe I should be foolish and not be responsible enough to plan...BUT there is a BIG difference between "planning" and "attempting to control." When my plans shift from being a good steward of time, relationships, and resources to attempting to manipulate my situation...then I'm in danger of Jeroboam's sin. Jeroboam resolved to do anything to save face (literally and figuratively) to the point of making up a complete lie and probably...probably believing it himself.

So I'm asking God to shed light on my intentions (again). Scary isn't it? But here goes...I have nothing to lose in surrendering to His light but my pride...but I lose everything in believing lies.

Striving after Wind, Broken Dreams, Letting Go...God is good.

"Just as you do not know the path of the wind and how bones are formed in the womb of the pregnant woman, so you do not know the activity of God who makes all things." Ecclesiastes 10:5

I've been a terrible blogger thus far...very sporadic in my postings and quite private really. Today is different, however. Today I'm going to share my life. Today I'm not doing what I thought I'd be doing a month ago. Today I'm far from where I thought I'd be four years ago. Heavens...when I really think about it, 10 years ago I did not even know my husband and 90% of the people with whom I converse on a daily basis! Crazy isn't it...how life changes? Crazier still how I think arrogantly that I can plan my life (as if it's really mine and not my Creator's...created for His glory and His purpose)!

I love to plan, daydream, idealize (love is a strong word and I use it intentionally). I really love to pretend I control my life. It's a sickness that's been diagnosed called Sin. No I don't mean that planning, daydreaming, and idealizing is sinful. I mean that falsely believing that I control turning my dreams into reality is sinful. What's happened in the last month has caused me to see that sometimes, just like the wind, His Spirit sends us in one direction and then changes direction. Right now I feel like I'm spinning. I'm confused, but HE IS NOT. I'm not spinning at random. I'm in His grip. But I'm really praying for clear "direction." Okay, do you want to know what's been going on?

Before I share my conflict, let me testify to God's clear leading in my past. I'll start with leaving sweet home Alabama. I sat under Steve Scoggins' teaching for 7 years (from 18-25 years old). Nathan and I never ever questioned if we were supposed to be at our church. It was our home. Really when I look back I've learned that true relationships are God's working. He brought us into strong relationships, strong Bible teaching. We had clear direction, and I praise Him for it.

God alone brought me to seminary. He placed the desire in my heart to be trained in Bible study and sharpened in mininstry. He gave me clear direction and graciously allowed me to finish the master's degree in the precious Biblical languages.

God moved us to Georgia. I've doubted that at times, but when I look back at my prayer journal I know that He brought us to Georgia. I can't say enough about the blessing of Nathan's job. I can't say enough...but I will some...He works for a God-fearing, faith-filled, honest, fair, merciful, kind Christian man, Dr. Bagget. He also works with Dr. Rickard, a fifty-something Spirit-filled wise man...a father-ish type mentor. Honestly, he's the kind of person that when Nathan and I are discussing something...I find myself asking him "What does Dr. Rickard say about it?" He also has a great working relationship with everyone else at the clinic. We love Braelinn Animal Hospital. And the Kirby's...God bless the Kirby's! Hugh and Mary Lynn! They opened their home immediately. Goodness I could go on and on about the people who have loved us for the past three years. My goal is not to bore you. I just can't share a struggle without sharing praises also!

But the past three years have not been the clean-cut path we had back in Alabama. I've not attended the same church, worked the same job, and lived by a neat schedule. I've studied late (I'm a morning person), carried up to four part time jobs, faught fetige that I think caused the strange heart palpitations. Nathan and I have learned big lessons (some of them through our sin and mistakes, some through other's sin and mistakes, some through triumphs by the grace of God). I've felt the the effects of irreversible time. Two years ago in the midst of all the changes (some of which I'm not going to share), I did what I do best...evaluated my life, evaluated my situation, and came to the logical conclusion that I should pursue a PhD. Then I concluded that yes God was leading me to pursue a doctorate for several reasons. First, I dream of seeing church families more passionate about God than SEC football (don't get me wrong...I'm a AU girl...I'm thrilled when the Tigers win...but really there's a time and place...moderation, fellow Southerners, moderation). Secondly, I want to see God's people love God's Word. Thirdly, I enjoy studying and writing. Fourthly, I felt led and saw a need for Biblical strengthening in family and children's ministry. Fifthly, (to be completely transparent) well...no I just can't be right now...maybe later. 

Here's the deal. God COMPLETELY opened the doors! By this cliche I mean that I looked at the leveling work....all the classes I needed were offered before I was scheduled to graduate with my masters. God MIRACULOUSLY enabled me to score high enough on the GRE. Deadline after deadline He ushered me through with "clear" guidance. My beloved professors encouraged me because there is great need for further study in the area of family and children's ministry, and I'm young and have a lot to give.

I felt needed...purposeful...clearly directed...

I went through an interview process and one of the professors encouraged me greatly. Ahhh...stability.
Then I was accepted. God provided tuition. I ordered my books. I registered for my classes.

BUT

All the while I kept sensing something...Am I pursuing a doctorate because I think that the seminary is my stability? Am I afraid of pursuing relationships? Am I pursuing a doctorate because I think I can succeed at school...I failed in relationships...at least I'll have somthing to show for my life...all things considered I haven't succeeded in very much other than my academic pursuits...but I haven't really tried much else either. Then I pushed those thoughts out of my head...thoughts can be hard to discern you know..especially since opinions abound in variety. No, God has opened the door. I'll have new opportunity and He will do so much through this...I can be an advocate for the cause of children. So I began to plead with God to close the opportunity for me somehow if that is what He wanted. I didn't want to make the decision.

Then two days before class was supposed to began I recieved a syllabus from one of my professors. I need to explain that I always felt a rush of exileration when I looked at syllabi for the first time in the past. I value learning. I love to sit in solitude a read a book...write a paper. This time the four page feather-lite syllabus felt like a boulder.

At the time I was reading through Psalms...Of course as He would have it the next Psalm was 73. Here is an excert from my journal that day:

-A doctorate will not validate my worth.
If I give up the doctorate...I'll be tempted by other thoughts...
-Beauty will not validate my worth.
-Marriage will not validate my worth.
-Children will not validate my worth.
-Friends will not validate my worth.
-Family will not validate my worth.
-A career will not validate my worth.
-MINISTRY will not validate my worth.

Psalm 73:25
"Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

So here I am. No more school. No church home right now. No idea where God is taking me.

I just want to be obedient...to love God with all my being and love my neigbor as myself. I'm praying He'll give us community and a love for people like I've never had. A love that says:

"I love people...not their acceptance of me." Because the later has been my downfall in years past. I no longer want to conform...I don't know if that makes sense.

He is faithful as ALWAYS to speak to me through His Word. I'm in Ecclesiastes now. So timely right? In the midst of changing winds...Solomon warns over and over and over....that we can waste our life chasing the wind. There is so much I don't know...we honestly don't know of which church family to join. So so much I want to see happen in my lifetime....

But I will declare publically today that I believe in our Soveriegn and Good God. He determines what is good and purposeful in my life. May I surrender afresh to Him today...draw near to Him...and cease striving after wind.

I want to be a better blogger and update better. Please pray for His wisdom over us. Blessings.