Learning the New Normal

Yesterday I crashed as soon as we put the boys to bed. I am out of shape, but there's no need for joining a gym. I work out now. I had forgotten what it's like having a baby who can't walk yet.

I think we've settled into a routine if I can manage the energy to keep it up. I take them for a walk in the double stroller right after breakfast. One goal in this (besides getting into shape) is to prepare them to go out in public. They have to sit next to each other. The first time we did this I had flashbacks to junior high fights in the hallway. They were not a fan of being that close to one another. I also learned that they don't, at this time, get to hold toys in the stroller. We worked on keeping personal space. Today was much much better. They looked very civilized. We're getting there.

Then we played outside until about 11:00. The weather has been so nice it's almost like fall...in July! I plan to take Daniel outside so much that by the end of the summer he doesn't know life without being outside. He likes it so much better than this time last week! He likes the swing, baby pool, and playing on a blanket in the shade. He doesn't venture off of the blanket which is fine with me for now. Joshua is not allowed on his blanket as he has the run of our entire yard. Joshua has gotten so much better at giving Daniel space. So much better. We have to tell Daniel the same thing, though we still have to pick him up and redirect him.

Daniel is eating well and we can definitely tell he's gaining weight. We have contacted Scottish Rite (thanks to some good friends suggesting we go ahead and not wait for a ped. referral). They are supposed to call us in the next couple of days to set up an appointment. Nathan said they were above and beyond good service over the phone. He has his physical next Monday and his evaluation with Babies Can't Wait July 29th. These three things will help us get to know our little man and know how to care for him.

I praise God that this child who a week ago was eating formula and rice cereal today ate (pureed or in a bottle):

-3 bottles of whole milk, formula, and rice cereal
-1/2 avocodo
-1 banana
-1 egg
-1 serving of applesauce
-1 pouch of pumpkin, squash, sweet potato
-handfull of blueberries
-handful of strawberries
-1/2 container of vanilla pudding
-multivitamin

That makes a Mama feel so good.

Today was so much smoother than yesterday. Joshua napped and I got to have my quiet time with no interruptions. That always helps. Yesterday the morning went well (besides meltdowns and the initial stroller fight), but by the afternoon I was exhausted. I turned on the TV and called my mother..and cried for an hour. Really.

When Nathan and I were discussing our day last night, I told him that there were times when I had done everything I knew to do and Daniel wasn't happy that I just looked at him and said "Sometimes you just have to choose to be happy Buddy" and we'd go on with our day. Daniel would calm down and smile again eventually. Nathan later said, "Katherine, you're so afraid you're going to do this all wrong and hurt somebody. You just have to choose to be confident." That was probably the biggest difference between today and yesterday. I chose confidence. I made a decision and those little guys had to put up with it. I was a lot more firm today, and they seemed more content (much to nobody's surprise I'm sure) ;) . I guess by faith I'll have to make the same decision tomorrow.

I look at pictures of siblings sitting together in pictures and I long to see these two sit together for a picture smiling. Then I remember that they have been brothers for three weeks. They are two years old. When I see these pictures of others, they've known each other much longer. I'm just going to have to give it time. But I want to document this longing because I pray that years from now I look back on this post with amazement in what God has done in their hearts.

Some breakthroughs in brotherly bonding:
-Joshua described his family yesterday including Daniel for the first time. He said "Dat oo-eee (mommy). Dat daddy. Dat baby an-el. Dat Josh-u budder."
-We put them to bed tonight and left the room without either of them asleep yet. (video moniters with an intercom make this possible) I guess my thinking is that sharing a room and riding in a stroller together will help. Hey, some may say getting into good hardy fights will help too. I guess I can list that one too. ;)

We spent our evening outside in the almost cool air and sunshine, Joshua picking blueberries in his diaper, Daniel laying on his blanket playing with toys, and Chloe (our dog) watching close by. Nathan came home with supper prepared by a friend. We ate on paper plates. The boys are now asleep. And all is right with the world. ;)

We Got Out of the House

Tomorrow is the big day. Nathan goes back to work and I stay home with the boys...real world! Well, almost. Our Sunday school class is providing meals through most of July, so it's not exactly real world around here yet. We are blessed with awesome family and friends. I mean that! I am amazed and have never felt so loved.

We had someone check on our farm or stay at our house every day we were in China. Family and friends met welcomed us home at the airport something I will always strive to do as it was so life-giving to us as we arrived home fatigued and overwhelmed. You can conquer a lot when you feel loved. We arrived home to a stocked pantry, fridge, freezer, our house decorated with Chinese lanterns, signs, and gifts. There was a crock pot with a roast and good ole southern sides for supper that night. We are trying to "cocoon" and it is hard not to see people regularly. Things you would normally do like have your parents come stay with you for a while we haven't done this go round. But we have felt loved. We have had the blessing of phones and internet. We feel so blessed. And we have felt everyone's prayers.

Today Nathan and Joshua were going to visit some friends on their farm and see all of their new animals. Last minute I decided to take Daniel in a separate vehicle. I needed to get out of our house and be around friends. I wasn't sure how it would go. I think overall it went really well! We ate lunch over there...even Daniel! This is the child who wouldn't touch solid foods a week ago. Home has done him as much good as it has us. And the prayers! He was exhausted from the outing but continued to have a good day.

He is standing on his own now when I let go of his hands. He tries to take a step forward then falls. What an amazing thing to watch! I love seeing first steps. He is 23 months old and is on Daniel-time, or I should say DC-time because that's what Nathan calls him now. Let me tell you, unless he wants to do something, he's not going to do it.

Both boys smiled and laughed heartily today. It did me good to see it and I'm praying for more days like that. We all played out side today for about an hour. I put Daniel on a big quilt with some toys with the thought that if he got ready to venture off into the grass he could. Several times I could see in his eye that he wanted something in the grass but never quite decided to move. He did enjoy his space on the blanket. That is a huge improvement.

So please pray:
For us as we begin real life...
That Daniel will continue to take to the outdoors (it's a big part of our family)
That we can schedule his needed appointments at Scottish Rite
That we'll be connected to the right physical/occupational therapist for us
That Joshua and Daniel will develop a friendship (okay as much as two-year-olds can ;)
That both boys will feel loved and cherished at home (especially when their with only one parent)

Thank you!
Katherine

Whining and Dining

There's been a lot of both around here today. So I'll start with eating. I almost hesitate to mention it so soon into the day, but DANIEL ATE EGGS AND AVOCADO!!! I scrambled the eggs then pureed a mixture of about 1/3 egg, milk, a spoon full of avocado, and a half of banana, one pouch of fruit and veggies, and about a tablespoon of rice cereal. Between breakfast and lunch he ate it! In addition, he's had two bottles. That may not be where he needs to be, but to me it's miraculous. Please continue to pray little man will eat. I can't tell you how good it felt to know that he was eating pretty much the same things as Joshua today just pureed.

Again, please continue to pray over his diet.

Today I've tried to do as much with the boys independently  as possible since Nathan goes back to work Wednesday. It's so good to have him home. He's so good with the boys, but I think more than anything I'm going to miss him so badly. I think cocooning is difficult for lots of reasons but the biggest is the isolation on our part. For Daniel it is so good for him I have no doubt. Joshua could stand to get out more, but at the same time it's good to establish our routine with Joshua too since naturally it's changed with two little boys. I miss family. I miss getting out of the house. But it's a season. It's not forever. And I think it will pay off in the end.

Joshua is used to having me completely to himself. I was telling Nathan earlier today, for his entire life I've been a few feet away from him at all times. I'm constantly his entertainment. He's always had my lap. So this is a big adjustment for him to say the least. I'm still with him, but he has to get used to taking turns with me. It's going to take time, practice, routine, effort to get used to playing with his brother. It's going to take the Lord working in his heart creating a bond with Daniel. Today, while we're adjusting (I'm claiming this is not going to be forever) he whined every time I went to Daniel, picked up Daniel, or initiated play.

Prayers please.

But altogether it's been a good day so far.
Daniel woke up at 6:00 (bottle and mommy-time)
Joshua woke up at 7:00 (they both ate breakfast)
We played
Ate snack at 10
Played
Ate lunch at 12
Daniel went down for a nap at 1:00 (he falls asleep rocking with a bottle of formula)
Joshua and I played and had story time
Joshua went down for a nap at 2:00 (he and Daniel share a room...so I pat Joshua's back until he's asleep)

The rest of the day, we'll see how it goes, but I'm thinking this wouldn't be a bad routine.

I'm going to throw this out there because the last time I did I received good advice. Any words of wisdom regarding the transition from only child to having a sibling?

Church

Joshua and I went to church this morning while Nathan and Daniel stayed home. It was so good to be at church! It was so good to see dear friends. We're a part of a young married Sunday school class. Most of us have small children. Our class just merged with another class. It's such a good fit! I'm so excited about getting to know new friends, but am so glad we'll still be with our familiar ones. Pat taught today (I just met him today). He mentioned some of the upcoming events the class has planned and said "and we'll have childcare. Most of us have teenagers so we'll always have childcare ;)" Yes!

Main point from our sermon this morning: "Stay the Course: pursue the goal regardless of circumstances or criticism." Of course, our ultimate goal is to become more and more like Jesus. Tim preached from 2 Chron. about King Asa. He started out so godly, and slipped into faithlessness. Of course he finished his sermon with encouragement and teaching about how to not do that.

We came home to Daniel and Nathan playing in the playroom. Daniel has this determination about him. For example: we have a set of clip clop horses (toy horse that climb down a ramp). I showed them to him yesterday and he would just laugh every time a horse climbed downward. Today we could tell he was trying to send the horses down the ramp (it was very obvious). He just doesn't know what to do with toys besides throw them. So he would throw the horses at the ramp.

He's pulling up well. He does this thing where he pulls up with my hands and then comes to me for a hug. He's giving good hugs now. He tries to kiss too. He opens his mouth and comes towards your face with a smile. It's very sweet.

Parenting Two

Today has felt pretty "normal." Joshua's sleeping is back on schedule. He slept through the night and woke up at 7:00. Daniel is still somewhere between China time and Georgia time. He went to bed well and woke up at 4:00. He made it until 11:30 going down for a nap and Joshua successfully woke him up at 2:00. ;) While that wasn't fun, I'm hoping it will help him sleep later tomorrow. Then, he and Joshua can go down for a nap at the same time, which is what I want to happen. 

Sound like I'm obsessed with sleep? I am. I really am. I love that break in the afternoon and evening. I love sleeping through the night myself. 

The great thing is we are sleeping and our challenges moment have not been with making Daniel feel at home but with just learning how to parent two. These two really have been great. We're working on respecting personal space. They aren't allowed to touch each other without me or Nathan. They can't pull toys out of each other's hands. Normal parenting two challenges.

We're working on taking turns with my lap and a story. Well really, I'm working on this with Joshua. He'd sit in my lap for hours and read stories, which I love! But my concern is that Daniel will be wondering around the room with no attention and I'll sit with Joshua and read like I always have. It's good that Daniel can entertain himself, but it's important that I pursue that interaction. Joshua did much better today with me reading a story to him and then going over to Daniel (sometimes he'd sit in my lap and sometimes not) and read him a story. Daniel likes books with textures. He tries to find the fuzz or ridges in board books that have no special texture. 

When I was playing with him before daybreak this morning he walked using a baby walker. I helped him a little bit. then he let go and came to me. It was about six inches. He took one step without the walker and then fell into my arms. I'll take it! Him giving me a hug. Him standing without help. I love seeing it. He hasn't done it since so I guess there are perks to being up way too early with your little one. ;)

Updates Through Blogging

I'm going to try to do this: post daily. I'm not going to worry about how random every sentence is or even worry about complete sentences. Eventually I hope to update everything on here, but we're taking baby steps.

Jet lag is a fierce beast! We're tired around here: all four of us. This is our second day home. Daniel woke up at 3:30 ready to face the day. And he played pretty hard until he crashed at 10:30. He's been sleeping since. Probably not the best way to get into a routine, but he is overly exhausted. He woke up at 11:45 and I thought "great that's his morning nap and he'll take an afternoon nap and be ready for bed. He was screaming so hard (we think because he is tired) I took him back into the bedroom and put him down again. I'm sure too that he is over stimulated and needs sleep. We were told in Beijing our first day of touring that it was his first day outside. Can you imagine all he's attempting to process!

I'm excited about taking the first steps in providing for his needs. He has a comprehensive physical with our pediatrician on the 14th. We've contacted Babies Can't Wait and are waiting for them to call us back to schedule appointments. My understanding is that our pediatrician, Babies Can't Wait, and Children's Healthcare Atl will integrate their work to help form a service plan for our little man.

My understanding is that our ped will test his eyesight and hearing as well as evaluate his development plus much more (I just can't think of what right now) ;). Babies Can't Wait should help us provide him with physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech (I'm not sure if now or down the road with speech). Children's healthcare will help us care for his cleft palate (there will be surgeries...we don't know the details yet) amongst other medical needs.

I am working tirelessly to get unpacked and into a routine. Both of our kiddos need that as do Nathan and I. Speaking of Nathan, I can't imagine life without him. He's a good man. And a good dad. And have I mentioned he has an amazing boss and job? He's off until next Wednesday. This time is really helping us achieve our new normal.

Joshua is happy to be home. He is talking more and more and is so precious playing with his toys. Daniel and Joshua are not interested in the same toys right now. Praise the Lord! So their little parallel play makes it easier to jump back and forth between the two of them.

One thing I did this morning was take the boys outside. You know Jman is all about the outdoors as are his parents. Daniel has never been outside except for touring in China (and that was exhausting). So today I dressed them and took them out (feeling good about that accomplishment)...Daniel was terrified of the grass. I think I pushed him too hard. He calmed down in my lap and we spent the rest of our time outside with Daniel in my lap and Joshua playing with his toys. Albeit one of the times I set him in the grass was because Joshua's cozy coup fell over in the grass with him in it. He needed me and I knew Daniel would be alright, but I had two crying boys for a minute. Joshua was fine after "-o-ee iss it" (Mommy kiss it) and Daniel stopped crying once in my lap again. But they did go for a ride in the wagon so Joshua could pick blueberries. Daniel wasn't smiling but he wasn't crying either and of course Joshua is happy outside.

Babysteps in all things. I looked around and prayed that Daniel would be able to take in God's glorious creation one day. The flowers, the grass, the sunshine, the trees, the sounds of birds and bugs. I'm pretty sure that this day will come, but I'm also pretty sure that we will help him not just through nurture (though that's vital). We'll need professional help as well.

There's a song by Sara Groves "Eye on the Prize." I've hummed it over and over. "The way is slow and we've so far to go...Keep your eyes on the prize...hold on." I feel very close to the Lord right now. Even in the exhaustion. I know that I have two blessing asleep in their bed. I steward blessings for a career. And if suffering comes with the blessing then it's partaking in Christ's suffering which will produce fruit. It's a good life. The Lord will provide for what these boys need. I have to believe that! And I do.

We Leave In Four Days!

And it feels so good to say that! Our bags are pretty well packed. House-sitting is covered. Thank You Lord for bringing us to this point! I don't think I'll have access to our blog or facebook while we're gone, but we are able to use Instagram. This is the conversation I have daily with Joshua:

Me: What are we going to do next week?
Joshua: "ide air-pane get dan-el"

Me: That's right. In four days Daddy, Mommy, and Joshua are going to ride in an airplane to China.
Joshua: air-pane goes up up up...den down down down. Josh-u hug dan-el.

Me: That's sweet, Joshua. "Thank You Jesus for giving Mommy and Daddy Joshua and Dan-el
Joshua: nods yes

I wish I had the ability to see what he's thinking about all of this. He says our suitcases are for China. We packed our "iddle Bible" instead of our "big story Bible." We talk about the adventure that we're going to have over the next two weeks.

God has brought us to this point. It's been two years and nine months since we began working towards and praying over adopting Daniel. We've seen his picture now for six months. We received pictures of him three times over the past six months. We're going to hold him in person in less than a week from now. We are seeing our dreams become reality. The Author and Perfecter of our faith is writing a great story. We're thankful to be a part. And in six days these two brothers will meet. These two we have prayed over for so long. Whether easy or difficult, this brotherhood will be a miracle. It will be just as it should be. We're so glad Joshua gets to go and that the four of us will be together.

We meet Daniel one day after arriving in China, and he will be ours on that day! I'm grateful for this because he will be with us for our entire time in China...touring and everything. I cannot wait to hold him! I can't wait to get to know his little personality. I am so grateful he'll be with us the whole time. I plan on taking tons of pictures (we'll see how that goes ;).

We're scheduled to see:

• The Great Wall
• The Forbidden City
• Tiananmen Square
• Hutong Tour
• An Acrobatic show

Once in Guangzhou (we're we have an appointment with US consulate), we'll continue touring: 

• White Cloud 
• Park Guangzhou Zoo (This is actually scheduled on Joshua's birthday! So, yay for a birthday zoo trip in China with brother!)
• Shamian Island  

We W

We spend one night in Hong Kong, then we're headed home. Though I don't know what communication will be like while gone, I have high hopes of blogging about some of the trip once we're home. 

The next picture on this blog will be a family of four! (Also, it is very possible that Joshua thinks we're riding in one of these to go to China. While these are cool and all, praise the Lord for modern transportation!)

Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!