Nathan and I took our first official step towards a China adoption last night. We attended the Discovery Bethany Adoption meeting in Atlanta. We basically made a date out of it and had a delightful time. We window shopped in Perimeter Mall...which means we looked at baby clothes in every store offering them. We went to what we expected to be an expensive Italian restaurant (and the only time we ate out all month) and ended up ordering two very inexpensive meals (Thank You Lord!) At 6:30 our long awaited meeting began. We both had butterflies.
The good news:
We were encouraged to see just how possible a China adoption is for us financially.
The disappointment:
We cannot begin the process until our baby (in my womb) is one year old. At first our hearts sunk. When Nathan and I got into the car later for our rainy drive home, the first thing I asked him is "Are you sad?" To which he replied emphatically "Yeah!"
We kind of envisioned the baby in my womb and our future adopted child being very close in age. We had it in our heads that we had 10 months until I turn 30 and we begin the process. During our hour drive, the Lord encouraged us. We're looking at it this way:
--Basically we have to wait about 5 more months than we anticipated to begin the paperwork. In the grand scheme of things that's not very long.
--Adoption is worth the wait. This is probably just the beginning of our waiting. Scripture mentions the importance of waiting on the Lord at least 20 times in just the Old Testament.
--China's rule for this baby to be one year old is not outlandish. In fact, no doubt God is at work in this process and He has something else in store for us as we parent the precious baby inside of me for the next 16 months. We are no doubt overjoyed to have this baby!
Last night I woke up at about 3:30 and couldn't go back to sleep because my mind was so consumed with all the "what ifs." Do you know the "what ifs" I'm talking about? You know as well as I the uncertainty of tomorrow when we forget God's sovereignty. Thankfully Philippians 4 raced through my head as well. I finally repeated in my mind over and over...."I trust You God. I trust You God. I trust You God." and fell back into a deep sleep.
Philippians 4: 4-7
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
I'm reading Jeremiah right now during my morning devotional time. Jeremiah's story is compelling. His time period was beyond difficult. Here are some passages that are gripping for me right now:
Jeremiah 9:23-24
Thus says the LORD,
“Let not the wise boast of their wisdom
or the strong boast of their strength
or the rich boast of their riches,
24 but let the one who boasts boast about this:
that they have the understanding to know me,
that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight,”
declares the LORD.
Oh then let me boast! I know Him. I know He is good. I've tasted and seen His goodness. My mind fails me. Goodness knows I'm not all that strong...especially these pregnant days. :) God is good...always good. All His ways are right and just. And my little family is in His hands. Rich financially...well thank You Lord for Your blessings...but bank accounts can dwindle as quickly as they grow. But I know that my Redeemer lives:
" I know that my Redeemer lives,
and that in the end He will stand on the earth." Job 19:25
And because I have a Redeemer...I pursue adoption. Because I've been sought after and adopted...I pursue adoption. And I believe that it is an incredible gift for the baby in my womb as well. A beautiful picture. I spoke to a precious little girl today. She is seven years old and she told me today, "Did you know that there really are 140 million orphans out there. But if people would just adopt them they wouldn't be orphans anymore. You see her world view is different because she has experienced adoption herself and her eyes are open. I pray, oh how I pray the the baby inside me will echo similar words when he/she is seven.
Another meaningful verse:
Jeremiah 12:5
“If you have raced with men on foot
and they have worn you out,
how can you compete with horses?
If you stumble in safe country,
how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan?"
I'm pregnant with my first child. I'm basically standing at the starting line of this race. I'm only in the beginning needing patience (or long suffering as I prefer to refer to it). I better position myself now in the Lord because this race has just begun.
So by and large the only ways that waiting affects us right now is that Art for Adoption has been post-poned until we begin the paper work next spring and our faith is being strengthened for His glory. Praise His name.
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